I attended my first college party this weekend (despite being a second semester sophomore) and figured I would reflect on some of the things I discovered:
“let’s sit down” is not a friendly invite to exchange pleasantries.
if you have to ask, “is he cute?” he’s not cute
if you’re going to a black light party I hope you don’t like the shirt you’re wearing.
“I don’t drink” is a taboo phrase.
The guys you are talking to are not interested in knowing your eye color, unless by eye color you mean your vagina.
Stay away from crying girls, vomit shortly follows.
Needless to say, my bed will always be my favorite place in the world, over everything else.
